On Board

I'm starting my second blog post while I’m the plane since, spoiler alert, the list of available activities 35,000 feet in the air is limited. There is plenty of time for thinking, however. Lots and lots of thinking. And for binge watching loser HBO shows I didn’t even know existed. They have personal TVs on airplanes now, it's a pretty amazing time to be alive. As impressive as I find this advance in technology, I’m gonna choose to spend my next few minutes doing a little bit of thinking.

I am thinking about so many things. I’m thinking about how invigorating this experience has been thus far, as I’m barely halfway across the ocean.

While I ran through the airport this afternoon, somewhere wedged behind the unshakeable thought of “Oh crap, I’m going to miss this flight, how have I already managed to mess this up??” I was thinking about how last week I woke up in Mason, Ohio and today I was sprinting through a Minneapolis airport, desperate to catch a flight across the Atlantic ocean. Pretty cool.

I am also thinking about how wonderful books and music are. They are arguably my two favorite things this world has to offer. Even outside the comfortable bubble of the 513, my music sounds the same, and my books read the same. I anticipate being able to combat a lot of future homesickness with these two old friends.

Initially, on my first plane, I couldn’t connect to my Spotify and it was a completely music-less journey. It was tragic, and I shudder just remembering that brutal, quiet 45 minutes.

The last thing I have been thinking about is how many people I wish were in the seat next to me.

I plan on using this experience to do a little self reflection (I know, traveling the world alone and using it as an opportunity to work on myself, pretty unique idea). I have a tendency to be too dependent, never cutting my hair or watching a movie without consulting the people I love or the people I want to love me.

I started to notice how often I would hand off a ticket, a map, an email, etc., following with semi-formed sentences like “I can’t…” and “Will you?…”. But I'm 19 years old and I can, and I will, and if takes me sprinting through an international airport, or getting lost in a foreign city to get to that point, I’m okay with that.

As much as I want to learn to be on my own, it does not make me miss my people any less, or keep me from writing funny things on a napkin to tell them when I can, or from missing the simplicity of just following someone else’s direction, without consulting myself. It's hard and it's scary to do things by yourself.

Anyway, besides the paralyzing fear of my impending failure, things are good so far. Nothing but wonderful things to say about the good people of Delta airlines. The woman next to me on the plane is nice. Full of helpful tips like, “Honey, there is medicine for fidgety foxes like you”. She is watching Elf and hasn’t laughed once, so obviously she is a robot, and a seasonally confused one at that.